A Baby Plots to Keep Mommy Awake All Night- Hilarious!

A spoof on some of the most popular sleep training methods, from a baby's point of view. This is so funny, just had to share. Enjoy!

'OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost seven months. The first few months were great. I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around six months.

Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. Its just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep and they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this:

Night 1: Cry every three hours until you get fed. I know, its hard. Its hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, its for her own good.

Night 2: Cry every two hours until you get fed.

Night 3: Cry every hour. Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about three nights.

Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW ITS HARD! But she really doesn’t need the sleep, she’s just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it. 

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t eaten pears since lunch, what’s up with that? The cat said 'meow'. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right - doesn’t matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile, but it worked. 

She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies internal clocks. Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry, Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy.

Also, be wary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack.If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib.At some point I am positive she will start to realise that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me

I couldn't find the source of this, if anyone knows, please email me.

Certified Sleep Sense Consultant Program

Certified Sleep Sense Consultant Program

The Sleep Sense Program is an absolutely wonderful program for teaching your baby to sleep through the night. If you have not heard about this program, you can read my Review of the Sleep Sense Program. Dana Obleman, the creator of the program is now offering training on becoming a certified sleep consultant. I am a huge fan of her program, techniques, and everything she teaches. She is a true pioneer in "sleep training/coaching" world. Not only will becoming a certified sleep sense consultant be an extremely rewarding career, but you will be learning from the best. 

Here are some important questions you would want to ask any sleep consultant certification program director/teacher, and I will provide you with the answers about Dana's program.

Who is teaching the program, and what experience/background do they have?

Dana Obleman, Creator of the Sleep Sense Program, Author of other parenting guides, Sleep and Parent Consultant. Background includes: BA in psychology and education degree. Mother of three children.  In addition, she was recently invited to share her methods with a prominent group of family doctors at the prestigious University of British Columbia’s Faculty of Medicine. Over the past couple of years, Dana has also appeared on national television, been a featured guest on a syndicated radio talk show, has been interviewed for several major newspapers, and appeared on a number of regional television news programs.

Is the training adequate and is on-going support available?

Absolutely, and on-going mentoring calls are offered for a full 3 months (more if needed) and guaranteed access to one year of one on one support from Dana herself. Be weary of programs that offer "self guided" training. You want to make sure you have someone to teach you, and support you the months following your training. The Sleep Sense Certification does just that, and more. 

Will I have help starting my sleep consulting business?

This is very important, and not all programs offer this. Dana will help you with business building (how to find and book clients, seminars, website help, advertising, and so much more). When you are done with the training, you will know exactly how to start your business. You will not be left with just a certification, and nothing else, like some of these other programs. Dana really helps you get started. 

Can I contact a sleep consultant program graduate?

Of course! Dana will let you speak to some of her graduates so you can see how they are doing, how their business is going, and ask any other questions you might have.

There are many, many, great reasons to choose this program for your sleep consultant training. If you are interested in learning more, please fill out the form on this page http://sleepsense.net/greatestjob, and Dana will contact you to talk about the program in detail. She can give you more information and answer your direct questions.  Here's a video with more information about getting your Sleep Consultant Certification.

Good luck! Sleep Consulting is a amazing career! You get to give sleep deprived parents, the gift of sleep! 

Amazon Diaper Deal BABYTIME Promo

You can get an economy box of diapers as low as $6!!! 

Here are the Directions:

You have to have Amazon prime and be a new member of Amazon mom. If you don't have amazon prime just sign up for the free trial and cancel when you get your diapers or even as soon as they ship (which is the next day with prime). Unless of course you are interested in keeping the membership, it does come with great perks.

1. Sign up for Amazon prime free trial (If you already have it, go to step 2) Here's the signup http://www.amazon.com/gp/prime/signup/videos

2. Sign up for amazon mom. Here's the sign up page http://www.amazon.com/gp/mom/signup/info

3. After you sign up clip your Huggies, Pampers, Earth's Best, or other diaper coupon, if available (this steps saves you an additional $1-$2) Here is the amazon coupon page. http://www.amazon.com/Coupons/ Click on the available coupon and it will be automatically added to your cart.

4. Search for your diaper in the search bar. Then choose your diaper and size. Choose the economy size. Make sure it has the "subscribe and save" option like this one.  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004Q8J

5. Subscribe to how many you want, and how often you want to get them. Example: 1 unit every 3 months. With "Subscribe and Save" you save and additional 15%

6. Enter the promotional code, BABYTIME, in the area "Gift Cards & Promotional Certificates," and click the "Apply" button. Your total should be $6-$12 depending on which diapers you choose. The discount will be reflected on the final order checkout page

It's very simple, I outlined all the steps so you get it right but, its very easy after you sign up for the amazon mom.

You can stock up by having your spouse, mom, whoever, order it for you as well.

Directions to cancel, SUPER easy!

To cancel amazon prime go to "My Account" top right corner of amazon page then "Manage Prime Membership" under the Account Settings Tab. Then you just click end membership.

To cancel monthly subscriptions "subscribe and save" go to "My Account" top right of page then "Your Subscribe and Save Items" under the More Order Actions Tab.  Then just click cancel subscription.



FAQ's from Amazon

Q: Who is eligible for the $25 Off diapers promo code?

A: New Amazon Mom members with Amazon Prime, including members enjoying the free 3-month trial, who join Amazon Mom with Amazon Prime while the promotion is running.

Q: How do I redeem my promotional code?
A: Shop the qualifying diapers, set up a diapers subscription or select your diapers, and then go to checkout. At checkout, you must enter BABYTIME, and then you will see the discount reflected on the final order checkout page.

Q: What products will be included in the event?
A: A wide variety of qualifying diapers. Discount does not apply to products sold by third-party merchants and other sellers through the Amazon.com site.

Q: How long do I have to use my promotional code?
A: Qualifying new Amazon Mom members can use the single-use-only promo code during the first seven days of their Amazon Mom membership.